To gain respect, you need self-respect. Here’s how to start building yours!

Tash Pieterse
5 min readNov 12, 2020
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

You want and desire people to respect you, love and care for you, right?!


How much do you respect, love and care for yourself?

Let that question really sink in. Think deeply and answer honestly. How much DO YOU respect YOURSELF?

I shared this at one of my Mindful Monday workshops. So many of the challenges the women were experiencing at the moment like stress, overwhelm, confusion, anxiety, worry, etc can all in some way be linked back to our own lack of self-respect.

What does self-respect mean?

“Self-respect is defined as holding yourself in high regard, living aligned to your own values and believing that you are good and worthy enough of being treated well.”

How can a lack of self-respect manifest itself?

  • giving up our time easily for other people, especially when we want to use that time for something for ourselves
  • not following through on our ideas or desires, but quickly and easily helping others with theirs
  • allowing someone to treat us unfairly, disrespectfully, or any way that challenges/ignores our values — this can be our partner, friends, family, boss, etc.
  • giving up our own wants and needs to please or make others happy

Do any of these resonate with you?

There are plenty more ways that a lack of self-respect can show up, I feel these are some of the most common that show up and that many can probably relate to or have experienced before.

Do you know what was a fascinating insight one of the women shared yesterday “I never thought to ask myself how I would feel if I did/didn’t do something!! I always think of how the other person would feel.”

I understand it fully, we are hardwired to connect, to be loved, included and wanted. However, that cannot come at the expense of what it means to connect, feel loved, included and wanted BY YOURSELF.

The truth is, how you love, respect, and treat yourself sets the bar for how others treat you. How they treat you is a reflection of how you treat yourself. If you’re…

Tash Pieterse

Tash Pieterse is an Internationally Certified Life & Mindset Coach helping busy ambitious professionals have success without the stress.